To crush or not to crush.... that is the question...
Ahhhhh Sundays. I have been lazily perusing some of my favorite blogs and it seems to me that there are crushes popping up everywhere! Brian is crushing on some lucky girl, Jerk has two different kinds of crushes...an intellectual one apparently and something a little more...intense.
Then there are people whom I shan't name (because he in particular likes to debate endlessly and I don't particularly want to start a war on my site...) that are OBVIOUSLY crushing like mad on one of his commenters but I don't think he has actually come out and told her...(trust me though dude, YOU CAN TELL).
I guess what I am wondering this morning is ... how dangerous are internet crushes? I suppose not at all if you are single... a great venue for shopping for that significant other...but what for those of us that are married, living with someone, in a committed relationship?
Just where is the line drawn?
I can tell by the types of comments my husband leaves on sites who he finds interesting and whom there is no spark of connection with. Perhaps he can tell the same about me. Does it bother me that he finds other women interesting? No. Would it bother me if he found another woman SO interesting that he felt compelled to meet her in person? HELL YES.
How about a phone call? A flurry of witty emails being exchanged? How about feeling all those things for another person and never saying anything to them. Does feeling it but not acting on it make it any better? Can you cheat on someone in your mind?
I know how dangerous this internet can be. My husband and I were both with other people when we met and started chatting online. There was just this connection. OK....neither of us were particularly happy with the people we were with...just a kind of mundane existence in a relationship that was neither too horrible to leave nor good enough to fight for.
My question is this: where do you draw the line? People always say that flirtation is harmless. I would tend to disagree. I think you can open a can of worms with that one. As human beings we tend to always look to the next step. The next step from a 'harmless' flirtation could possibly be lethal to a marriage or committed relationship.
If you have a crush but never physically act on it...does that make it less hurtful to the person you are with?
Lots of questions... it just seems that whatever page I happen to be perusing lately there are crushes everywhere! (Is it Spring?) ooo and hahah! on the intellectual crush thing Jerk! I can relate! ( I think the intellectual crush thing is okay though because I don't find myself dreaming about what it would be like to be with this person AT ALL. I do however really dig how his mind functions.)
So what do you guys think? okay to crush or not okay?
Then there are people whom I shan't name (because he in particular likes to debate endlessly and I don't particularly want to start a war on my site...) that are OBVIOUSLY crushing like mad on one of his commenters but I don't think he has actually come out and told her...(trust me though dude, YOU CAN TELL).
I guess what I am wondering this morning is ... how dangerous are internet crushes? I suppose not at all if you are single... a great venue for shopping for that significant other...but what for those of us that are married, living with someone, in a committed relationship?
Just where is the line drawn?
I can tell by the types of comments my husband leaves on sites who he finds interesting and whom there is no spark of connection with. Perhaps he can tell the same about me. Does it bother me that he finds other women interesting? No. Would it bother me if he found another woman SO interesting that he felt compelled to meet her in person? HELL YES.
How about a phone call? A flurry of witty emails being exchanged? How about feeling all those things for another person and never saying anything to them. Does feeling it but not acting on it make it any better? Can you cheat on someone in your mind?
I know how dangerous this internet can be. My husband and I were both with other people when we met and started chatting online. There was just this connection. OK....neither of us were particularly happy with the people we were with...just a kind of mundane existence in a relationship that was neither too horrible to leave nor good enough to fight for.
My question is this: where do you draw the line? People always say that flirtation is harmless. I would tend to disagree. I think you can open a can of worms with that one. As human beings we tend to always look to the next step. The next step from a 'harmless' flirtation could possibly be lethal to a marriage or committed relationship.
If you have a crush but never physically act on it...does that make it less hurtful to the person you are with?
Lots of questions... it just seems that whatever page I happen to be perusing lately there are crushes everywhere! (Is it Spring?) ooo and hahah! on the intellectual crush thing Jerk! I can relate! ( I think the intellectual crush thing is okay though because I don't find myself dreaming about what it would be like to be with this person AT ALL. I do however really dig how his mind functions.)
So what do you guys think? okay to crush or not okay?
posted by Lisa at 10:52 AM
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