It's a great day when......
Your very best friend, the queen of candycoating.... grows a big shiny new set of balls.
Those of you that read my blog with any kind of regularity will remember HR. She loves to fart, eat chinese food and she loves SW. So much so that she even allowed me to post a question a while back and get all of you to give her advice/critique.
The bottom line was this... at the end of the day she knew she had to actually have a face to face conversation with SW and FINALLY screwed up enough courage to go over to his house and attempt an honest-to-goodness face to face for the first time in their 11 year history.
And because it was my advice, and she actually followed it for once... I take some degree of personal responsibility for what happened next. (I say some because obviously... it was only my fault that she went there... not what she encountered once she got there...)
She had remembered him mentioning to her that he was switching shifts with someone who was out on leave some weeks prior to this, so she thought she would have a good chance of finding him home this particular night, although it wasn't one of his "regular" days off.
She got dressed, you can vouch for this ladies, we always want to look our best when going in for an up close and personal conversation....so she did her hair, makeup and picked out an especially lovely ensemble to wear. At around 10:00 pm she left her house and made the 15 minute drive over to his house. She parked her car, collected herself for a few minutes and with a last-minute check of her makeup; she took a deep breath and got out of the car.
As she neared his house, she could hear him out back (he has a pool). She figured he was out there with the dog and so she changed course and headed around to the side gate.
What she saw floored her.
He was around back alright. With another girl.
SKINNY DIPPING. (kind of hard to pull that one off as an innocent visit I would say).
Apparently the girl was from Nebraska, hell of a drive for an evening swim. For the sake of brevity, I will condense....she turned around and left... I don't know that I could have left and not said something...but she did.
He called her two weeks later and spewed some drivel about how it was the 4th and how odd it was that they weren't together since they had spent it together the year before (this was on voicemail). To her credit, she didn't call him back although it must have killed her...she really does love this guy.
Then last week was his birthday.
Are you ready for this????
No, really.
Are you sitting down ?
THE MOTHER FUCKER ACTUALLY HAD THE BALLS TO CALL HER AND SAY THIS: uhm, thanks for thinking of me on my birthday.
(again on voicemail).
This told me one thing. He doesn't know she knows. What kind of ass does that ? Tries to lay a guilt trip on a girl for not calling him on his birthday after he's been playing naked pretzel in his fucking pool ?
HR is probably the most mild-mannered, gentle soul, that I have ever encountered. But she wrote him a letter today and dropped it off in his mail box on the way home. It was sarcastic, and to the point and I am sooooo proud of her.
Because I am proud of her... I am going to end this post with a copy of her letter to SW...
July 26, 2005
S****,
I am writing to you because I did in fact receive the message you left me on my voicemail. You remember, the one thanking me for thinking of you on your birthday. That one.
Well, it has taken me about a week to figure out exactly how it is that I want to respond. In fact, it has taken me that long because at first I didn't want to respond at all. Aside from maybe spitting in your face... But, that was last week.
Now, I just want to say, "Happy Birthday". I hope you had fun, a good dinner and of course some cake or a piece of PIE - whichever the case may be.
Come to think of it, since you mentioned it... I was wondering if you were thinking of me while you were skinny dipping with that pretty little brunette from Nebraska. Or did she not call you on your birthday either??
Love always,
HR
Those of you that read my blog with any kind of regularity will remember HR. She loves to fart, eat chinese food and she loves SW. So much so that she even allowed me to post a question a while back and get all of you to give her advice/critique.
The bottom line was this... at the end of the day she knew she had to actually have a face to face conversation with SW and FINALLY screwed up enough courage to go over to his house and attempt an honest-to-goodness face to face for the first time in their 11 year history.
And because it was my advice, and she actually followed it for once... I take some degree of personal responsibility for what happened next. (I say some because obviously... it was only my fault that she went there... not what she encountered once she got there...)
She had remembered him mentioning to her that he was switching shifts with someone who was out on leave some weeks prior to this, so she thought she would have a good chance of finding him home this particular night, although it wasn't one of his "regular" days off.
She got dressed, you can vouch for this ladies, we always want to look our best when going in for an up close and personal conversation....so she did her hair, makeup and picked out an especially lovely ensemble to wear. At around 10:00 pm she left her house and made the 15 minute drive over to his house. She parked her car, collected herself for a few minutes and with a last-minute check of her makeup; she took a deep breath and got out of the car.
As she neared his house, she could hear him out back (he has a pool). She figured he was out there with the dog and so she changed course and headed around to the side gate.
What she saw floored her.
He was around back alright. With another girl.
SKINNY DIPPING. (kind of hard to pull that one off as an innocent visit I would say).
Apparently the girl was from Nebraska, hell of a drive for an evening swim. For the sake of brevity, I will condense....she turned around and left... I don't know that I could have left and not said something...but she did.
He called her two weeks later and spewed some drivel about how it was the 4th and how odd it was that they weren't together since they had spent it together the year before (this was on voicemail). To her credit, she didn't call him back although it must have killed her...she really does love this guy.
Then last week was his birthday.
Are you ready for this????
No, really.
Are you sitting down ?
THE MOTHER FUCKER ACTUALLY HAD THE BALLS TO CALL HER AND SAY THIS: uhm, thanks for thinking of me on my birthday.
(again on voicemail).
This told me one thing. He doesn't know she knows. What kind of ass does that ? Tries to lay a guilt trip on a girl for not calling him on his birthday after he's been playing naked pretzel in his fucking pool ?
HR is probably the most mild-mannered, gentle soul, that I have ever encountered. But she wrote him a letter today and dropped it off in his mail box on the way home. It was sarcastic, and to the point and I am sooooo proud of her.
Because I am proud of her... I am going to end this post with a copy of her letter to SW...
July 26, 2005
S****,
I am writing to you because I did in fact receive the message you left me on my voicemail. You remember, the one thanking me for thinking of you on your birthday. That one.
Well, it has taken me about a week to figure out exactly how it is that I want to respond. In fact, it has taken me that long because at first I didn't want to respond at all. Aside from maybe spitting in your face... But, that was last week.
Now, I just want to say, "Happy Birthday". I hope you had fun, a good dinner and of course some cake or a piece of PIE - whichever the case may be.
Come to think of it, since you mentioned it... I was wondering if you were thinking of me while you were skinny dipping with that pretty little brunette from Nebraska. Or did she not call you on your birthday either??
Love always,
HR
posted by Lisa at 9:13 PM
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