An old wives tale.
Once upon a time, there was a small monkey. He was a cheeky monkey; as most of them are. This particular monkey woke up one day to discover that he had a sty on his eye. Cheeky monkey didn't like this one little bit. It hurt and made his little monkey eye water.
He went upstairs to complain to Mother monkey about his sty. He looked high and he looked low for Mother Monkey. Finally, he found her in the kitchen making biscuits and gravy. The smell was so delicious, it almost made him forget about his sty. Almost.
Monkey: Mom! I have a sty in my eye! It hurts! What can I do to make it go away?
Mother Monkey: Well, cheeky little monkey, you may not believe this but if you do exactly as I say, that sty will be gone by morning.
Monkey: Okay! What do I need to do?
Mother Monkey: You go down to the basement, find your pet cat, get the fuzziest part of her tail and rub it over the sty a couple of times. When you wake up in the morning your sty will be gone.
Monkey: NO WAY! I am NOT rubbing the cat's ass on my eye! NO. (and he pouted like a cheeky monkey)
Mother Monkey: Suit yourself. But would I ever lie to you? It works. Try it.
Cheeky Monkey stomped downstairs muttering something about crazy old ladies under his breath....
He sat in the basement playing Nintendo and eyeing the cat. He played a few more games and eyed the cat. The cat stared back. Monkey turned his back on the cat and tried to make his mother's words disappear from his head.
He put down the controller, shut off the Nintendo and as nonchalantly as a Cheeky Monkey could, strolled over to the cat, grabbed it in some ninja/sumo/grappling hold and quickly rubbed its' furry tail over his sty. The cat yowled in indignation and leapt from his arms to perch on the back of the sofa, tail twitching in agitation.
Cheeky Monkey: Oh shut up cat, I don't know what you have to be pissed about, not like I rubbed MY ASS on your eye.
THE NEXT MORNING
Monkey goes upstairs for breakfast. He sits at the table waiting for Mother Monkey to finish with the eggs. She sits his glass of orange juice in front of him, looks him over and says:
You did it didn't you? I told you.
Monkey: I don't want to talk about it.
The moral of the story folks, is this: sometimes even when your mother tells you to rub a cat's ass on your eye, she knows best.
This is actually a true story. Monkey's mother is one of the coolest women I know... very no-nonsense and straight-forward. So apparently those of you out there suffering with a sty in your eye. Beg, borrow or steal a cat for a few minutes if you aren't lucky enough to own one yourself and try this little known remedy. Creepy sounding I know, but it works. Just ask my husband =)
He went upstairs to complain to Mother monkey about his sty. He looked high and he looked low for Mother Monkey. Finally, he found her in the kitchen making biscuits and gravy. The smell was so delicious, it almost made him forget about his sty. Almost.
Monkey: Mom! I have a sty in my eye! It hurts! What can I do to make it go away?
Mother Monkey: Well, cheeky little monkey, you may not believe this but if you do exactly as I say, that sty will be gone by morning.
Monkey: Okay! What do I need to do?
Mother Monkey: You go down to the basement, find your pet cat, get the fuzziest part of her tail and rub it over the sty a couple of times. When you wake up in the morning your sty will be gone.
Monkey: NO WAY! I am NOT rubbing the cat's ass on my eye! NO. (and he pouted like a cheeky monkey)
Mother Monkey: Suit yourself. But would I ever lie to you? It works. Try it.
Cheeky Monkey stomped downstairs muttering something about crazy old ladies under his breath....
He sat in the basement playing Nintendo and eyeing the cat. He played a few more games and eyed the cat. The cat stared back. Monkey turned his back on the cat and tried to make his mother's words disappear from his head.
He put down the controller, shut off the Nintendo and as nonchalantly as a Cheeky Monkey could, strolled over to the cat, grabbed it in some ninja/sumo/grappling hold and quickly rubbed its' furry tail over his sty. The cat yowled in indignation and leapt from his arms to perch on the back of the sofa, tail twitching in agitation.
Cheeky Monkey: Oh shut up cat, I don't know what you have to be pissed about, not like I rubbed MY ASS on your eye.
THE NEXT MORNING
Monkey goes upstairs for breakfast. He sits at the table waiting for Mother Monkey to finish with the eggs. She sits his glass of orange juice in front of him, looks him over and says:
You did it didn't you? I told you.
Monkey: I don't want to talk about it.
The moral of the story folks, is this: sometimes even when your mother tells you to rub a cat's ass on your eye, she knows best.
This is actually a true story. Monkey's mother is one of the coolest women I know... very no-nonsense and straight-forward. So apparently those of you out there suffering with a sty in your eye. Beg, borrow or steal a cat for a few minutes if you aren't lucky enough to own one yourself and try this little known remedy. Creepy sounding I know, but it works. Just ask my husband =)
posted by Lisa at 8:35 PM
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