How does your wife annoy you....let me count the ways.
Well, I was off to a stellar start this morning! First, I did not hear the alarm go off and slumbered my way to 6:07am when I normally get out of bed at 5:30am. Fantastic. So I then rush around trying to bathe, get dressed in the semi-darkness that is our bedroom (I've shown you the picture of our other bathroom...) I have had to bathe in the master bedroom while my bathroom is in limbo.
Finally, I dive into my scrubs, throw my still-wet hair into a pony-tail (very sexy look, all the hot chicks are doing it this season), slap on some mascara and lip gloss and try to wake the child up. While the child is rousing, I let the dog out, feed him, step on the cat and get the child cereal.
I sit the child at the table with cereal while I try to coax her hair into some semblance of a hair do.
HR arrives. I dive into the freezer to retrieve my craptastic frozen lunch and run down to the garage to get the car seat since HR is driving today. We load the seat, lunches and child into HR's car, I run back to make sure Monkey is awake and off I run to drop child off at day care.
Arrive at daycare, fish child out of car, pay for this week and this week's activities and dash back to the car to make the 35 minute drive across State line to work.
Reach into my purse to pull out the keys to open the office and come out with.......
Dave's car keys.
SHITFUCKDAMNFUCKCRAP!
That's right. I am a horrible wife. I borrowed his car on Sunday to go do grocery shopping and then to go to the toy store with his Mom for Alyssa. I forgot to return them to him on Sunday....and this morning I was in zero condition to remember anything.
xoxo
The Worst Wife Ever.
I told him this was his get out of marriage free card. But it expires by the end of the day.
Finally, I dive into my scrubs, throw my still-wet hair into a pony-tail (very sexy look, all the hot chicks are doing it this season), slap on some mascara and lip gloss and try to wake the child up. While the child is rousing, I let the dog out, feed him, step on the cat and get the child cereal.
I sit the child at the table with cereal while I try to coax her hair into some semblance of a hair do.
HR arrives. I dive into the freezer to retrieve my craptastic frozen lunch and run down to the garage to get the car seat since HR is driving today. We load the seat, lunches and child into HR's car, I run back to make sure Monkey is awake and off I run to drop child off at day care.
Arrive at daycare, fish child out of car, pay for this week and this week's activities and dash back to the car to make the 35 minute drive across State line to work.
Reach into my purse to pull out the keys to open the office and come out with.......
Dave's car keys.
SHITFUCKDAMNFUCKCRAP!
That's right. I am a horrible wife. I borrowed his car on Sunday to go do grocery shopping and then to go to the toy store with his Mom for Alyssa. I forgot to return them to him on Sunday....and this morning I was in zero condition to remember anything.
xoxo
The Worst Wife Ever.
I told him this was his get out of marriage free card. But it expires by the end of the day.
posted by Lisa at 1:33 PM
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