Something wicked this way comes......
Pack your bags bloggy friends, we are traveling back...back into the deep recesses of my past to bring you tales from my sordid days before Dave. (DBD)
Circa 1987. I was hmmm 18, almost 19. I came up with the brilliant plan that I would like to move out on my own. (well, not exactly on my own..rather with 3 friends..a girl: Chris (C) and two boys: Neil (N) and Pat (P).
I broached the subject with "mummy" and presented her with all the pros (at that age I wasn't smart or mature enough to have thought out the cons....) and she said this to me...
Mum: Well, Lisa, I have no problem bankrolling this little operation of yours but I want you to think long and hard about this because if you choose to move out...there is no coming back.
Lisa: (having wasted all of 0.5 seconds of thought on my answer) GREAT!! I will tell the guys!
So she paid first and last for the whole house (about $2600) Oakville even in the 80's was prohibitively expensive to live in... stocked us up with food and forever closed and locked the door to the childhood home.
Oh we had good times, 4 kids in a big person house...all alone. No one to tell us what to do...The house was a block from the high school, in theory it should have made it impossible to miss school, I mean even in a freak snow storm I could have crawled down the street and made it. I think in the 6 weeks we managed to live in that house before we got kicked out.... I made it to school...6 times...maybe.
C had a huge crush on N. (who didn't?) P had a huge crush on C. N and I had so much sexual tension built up without either of us having a crush on the other one that you could have cut it with a knife.
Recipe for disaster. You know how they say that sometimes....the anticipation..the dream...is far better than the reality? uh huh.
It was late...C was at her parents house for dinner..P was ...well, I am not exactly sure where P was...he was kind of a loner. N and I were alone. He was downstairs in his room, my room was on the main floor, and C & P lived on the second floor.
tap tap tap
Me: yeah?
N pokes his head in the door.
N:what are you doing?
Me: nothing. why?
N: No reason. I was wondering....if I could listen to something on your stereo.
Me: sure...
He pulls out his metallica album...I know...I know... very romantic.
N for the record, was a fuckingfantabulous kisser. (we had kissed a few times before this always broken up by C who came looking for N ...) This time there was no one to come looking.
We started out in my room...kissing..hands everywhere...all the way down the hallway, through the kitchen...my shirt is probably still hanging on the banister of the stairs leading to the basement..How I managed to get downstairs and be missing half my clothes and he was still dressed...I don't know - he was just that good I guess...
We made it to his waterbed the kissing and teenage groping still going extremely well..and then we come to the actual act. It was my first foray on a waterbed... needless to say the rhythm was not in synch with mine, and his was not in synch with the water bed and ...and ...and
It was horrible. Awful. Months and months of buildup...sexy kisses stolen when no one was looking...the looks....OMG the looks that that boy could give a girl. Damn he was sexy. Till you actually tried to fuck him. We were like oil and water...the two just DO NOT mix... no matter how much you may want them to. (and fuck...did I want them to!)
We started laughing. and kept laughing...shit, it still makes me laugh. We sat cross-legged on his turbulent waterbed smoking a joint, him in his tighty whities...and me in mine. And we agreed to just never go there again. EVER. And I haven't... till now. I wonder where N is these days... ahhhh...memories.
So.. I guess my question for you...any of you that actually read my drivel... what was the most or least memorable sexcapade of your misspent growing years? Details people....I want details!
Circa 1987. I was hmmm 18, almost 19. I came up with the brilliant plan that I would like to move out on my own. (well, not exactly on my own..rather with 3 friends..a girl: Chris (C) and two boys: Neil (N) and Pat (P).
I broached the subject with "mummy" and presented her with all the pros (at that age I wasn't smart or mature enough to have thought out the cons....) and she said this to me...
Mum: Well, Lisa, I have no problem bankrolling this little operation of yours but I want you to think long and hard about this because if you choose to move out...there is no coming back.
Lisa: (having wasted all of 0.5 seconds of thought on my answer) GREAT!! I will tell the guys!
So she paid first and last for the whole house (about $2600) Oakville even in the 80's was prohibitively expensive to live in... stocked us up with food and forever closed and locked the door to the childhood home.
Oh we had good times, 4 kids in a big person house...all alone. No one to tell us what to do...The house was a block from the high school, in theory it should have made it impossible to miss school, I mean even in a freak snow storm I could have crawled down the street and made it. I think in the 6 weeks we managed to live in that house before we got kicked out.... I made it to school...6 times...maybe.
C had a huge crush on N. (who didn't?) P had a huge crush on C. N and I had so much sexual tension built up without either of us having a crush on the other one that you could have cut it with a knife.
Recipe for disaster. You know how they say that sometimes....the anticipation..the dream...is far better than the reality? uh huh.
It was late...C was at her parents house for dinner..P was ...well, I am not exactly sure where P was...he was kind of a loner. N and I were alone. He was downstairs in his room, my room was on the main floor, and C & P lived on the second floor.
tap tap tap
Me: yeah?
N pokes his head in the door.
N:what are you doing?
Me: nothing. why?
N: No reason. I was wondering....if I could listen to something on your stereo.
Me: sure...
He pulls out his metallica album...I know...I know... very romantic.
N for the record, was a fuckingfantabulous kisser. (we had kissed a few times before this always broken up by C who came looking for N ...) This time there was no one to come looking.
We started out in my room...kissing..hands everywhere...all the way down the hallway, through the kitchen...my shirt is probably still hanging on the banister of the stairs leading to the basement..How I managed to get downstairs and be missing half my clothes and he was still dressed...I don't know - he was just that good I guess...
We made it to his waterbed the kissing and teenage groping still going extremely well..and then we come to the actual act. It was my first foray on a waterbed... needless to say the rhythm was not in synch with mine, and his was not in synch with the water bed and ...and ...and
It was horrible. Awful. Months and months of buildup...sexy kisses stolen when no one was looking...the looks....OMG the looks that that boy could give a girl. Damn he was sexy. Till you actually tried to fuck him. We were like oil and water...the two just DO NOT mix... no matter how much you may want them to. (and fuck...did I want them to!)
We started laughing. and kept laughing...shit, it still makes me laugh. We sat cross-legged on his turbulent waterbed smoking a joint, him in his tighty whities...and me in mine. And we agreed to just never go there again. EVER. And I haven't... till now. I wonder where N is these days... ahhhh...memories.
So.. I guess my question for you...any of you that actually read my drivel... what was the most or least memorable sexcapade of your misspent growing years? Details people....I want details!
posted by Lisa at 9:16 AM
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